I don’t know about you, but at this time of year I always think of work. It s harvest time. Because of the years I spent in the MidWest, I was around people who were harvesting produce, bringing in the crop for the year. The quirks of nature notwithstanding, they would be reaping what they had sown. The result of their work was visible, and commensurate to the amount of effort and care they had put into it. They also had an ending. The crop that had been planted was now being harvested. Then it would all begin again.

We do not all have work like this.

My musings started the first of October this year, as I volunteered a lot of time working at the church’s pumpkin patch, which raises $50,000 each year for local charities.

Most of the time I just sold pumpkins, but two Saturdays we unloaded huge trucks of pumpkins hauled in from a Navajo pumpkin farm in another state.
We formed a chain of humans and passed the pumpkins down the line to eventually be arranged on the church lawn.

On one side of me were 2 parolees doing community service time. They talked about how much better this job was than the one they d done earlier, and how nice it was to be out in the sunshine. Both of them expected to be out by Christmas. I didn t ask them what they were in for.

On the other side of me were teenagers from the youth choir who complained a lot about how hard it was and had to be reminded to pay attention. I’m sure they couldn’t imagine working at anything for 8 hours in a row, especially something so, like, boring, dude.

The pumpkins came down the line in various sizes and shapes, shiny and wet, some with dirt on them.

It was very primal.

I wondered if the Navajos on the other end of the process had formed a line to pitch them into the truck. And if they took pride in their work. If they even saw the marvel of the pumpkins any more.

One time there was a middle-aged woman standing next to me. You re a good worker, she said. You don t complain. If only she knew how much I was enjoying myself.

I was raised with the work ethic, I said. It s stood me in good stead. Having been taught that work was work and play was play somehow frees me from the complaining side and allows me to enjoy work. Most of the time anyway.

As the pumpkins passed by us we noted you couldn’t tell how much one would weigh by looking. There were some surprises. It s the density.
Such different shapes, too. Squash someone would yell and down would come a pumpkin that didn t know it was a pumpkin. Sometimes nature errs. What is the line between pumpkin and squash anyway? One or the other must have been a mutant at some time. How exciting to discover one. There s no such thing as a mistake, I m reminded.

Twice a “perfect” pumpkin came down the line and work slowed as each person paused to admire it. No one reprimanded, “Move it along.” We understood our mutual need to appreciate perfection when it comes our way. Once in a lifetime twice on the pumpkin line life is sweet indeed. We have the archetype of the perfect pumpkin, and the perfect woman, and the perfect love affair, and the perfect job. (Hope you’ve had yours!)

I enjoy that kind of work a lot. Touching things with my hands, physical labor. It’s a nice change of pace for me. I work with my head, with people, with ideas, and with computers.

We were a human assembly-line and I thought of the people who do that kind of work for a living. Maybe you do. We were able to talk, and were outside on two beautiful, sunny, breezy days. And it was only for 3 hours. I wondered what it would be like 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Abruptly it was over. No more, they yelled, and we passed it on down the line. As we workers scattered, I gazed over the sunny scene. The pumpkins, which had grown on the ground were back there, only clean, and arranged orderly by size this time. Ashes to ashes, I thought, to the same place returneth, but then the scene became dynamic. The pumpkins had a lot in store for them. Already some were being used as backdrops for family photographs, while others were being carted off to become a jack-o-lantern, lawn pumpkin, or pumpkin pie.

My job, now completed, was part of a much larger scenario, yet from it I had harvested much.

At Thanksgiving time, a time of harvest and bounty, I invite you to reflect on your work and your life — the mission and meaning side of it. The planting of the seed part of it. The reaping what you have sown part of it. Have you? Will you?

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn,cc . I offer coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for career, relationships, transition, resilience. I train and certify EQ coaches. For more information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program, mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc .

How to Become a Woman of Thanksgiving by Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur

It can be a challenge to be thankful. After all, it often seems so much easier to complain. The bills are piling up, the boss wanted the project done yesterday and it is barely begun, the children want to be brought someplace and don?t want to eat what is on the table for dinner, and the laundry isn?t going to do itself! Any number of life?s little annoyances can push us into complaining mode. Lamentation is a valid prayer. We are right to bring our cares and concerns to God, to offer up our stress. But thanksgiving is an important part of prayer also. We are often eager to petition God for our needs, but less likely to say ?Thank you? when a prayer has been answered.

So, how then, do we become a woman of thanksgiving? Begin by looking around. Thank God for another day of life, the nature that surrounds us. Do you have a roof over your head, food on the table? Thank God for those. Are your children screaming through the house? Stop and thank God that they are healthy enough to run and play, and yes, even fight with each other! Any time when you feel a complaint bubbling to the surface, take a moment to breathe and survey the situation. Is there any silver lining hiding below the surface that could possibly be a reason for thanks? If so, thank God for that. When petitioning God for a need, always add a prayer of thanksgiving for the answer, whether it is the answer desired or not. Like any habit, with practice, becoming a woman of thanksgiving should become easier.

About the Author

Patrice Fagnant-MacArthur is editor of “The Spiritual Woman Newsletter” providing information and inspiration for women who seek to deepen their relationship with God - http://www.spiritualwoman.net and author of “Letters to Mary from a Young Mother” (iUniverse, 2004)

The door to my office exploded as hundreds, at least it seemed like that many to me, of children surrounded my desk. My defenses were down and the merry mob held me captive. Wisely, I decided to surrender and throw myself on the mercy of the gang.

Simultaneously, and in hi-fi stereophonic sound, the children assaulted me with questions.

“Pastor, what’s ya doin’?”

“Pastor, is that your computer?”

“Who’s that in the picture?”

“Pastor, are you working?”

“Pastor, why? … why? … why?”

As soon as I dealt with one question, three more emerged and it seemed as though the supply was endless. Should the little crowd run out of questions, they could always begin all over again. Moreover, I believe they did several times.

Admittedly, to hear, let alone answer each question, would have required a Moses-proportion miracle of parting the Red Sea. I chuckled to myself when I realized they didn’t need me, or even want me to answer all their questions, as strange as it seemed.

The little pack really wanted to know if I had an ear for them. And I did two, as a matter of fact.

We see the tragedy of life in the fact that as people grow older they seem to lose their sense of inquiry. Answers replace questions.

I remember what my good friend and spiritual mentor used to say: “Beware of the person who has more answers than questions. Life must truly be a bore to them. I know they’re a bore to me.”

I think good old Frank knew what he was talking about. No person is poorer than the man who has ceased approaching life with a question. Or, better yet, the man who has an answer for everything.

The man who has all the answers hasn’t heard all the questions, yet.

Throughout the years, I have been plagued with many questions. All theologians have an overwhelming desire to explain everything and put everything into a nice, neat little package.

The less they know, it seems, the more dogmatic they are on what they know.

Questions are an essential ingredient of life. During my short career as a human being, and it’s been a full-time job, I have pondered many questions.

Questions such as:

n Can God make a rock so big He can’t lift it?

n How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

n Did God really create politicians?

n Why?

I realize some questions seem to be silly and don’t deserve an answer. A question, as I see it, requires an answer, and answers lead inevitably to choosing.

I don’t know about other people, but choosing is a little difficult with me. When I choose something, it means I must forfeit the other.

The discouraging aspect of this whole mess is it usually boils down to an either/or kind of situation. Either I choose the one, or I must choose the other.

I don’t like this very much. I much rather prefer both, if there’s really a choice about the matter.

This week at Thanksgiving, it all came to a head mine. The culprit behind the whole issue was none other than the Mistress of the Parsonage. Just when I think I have my beloved all figured out, I am forced to go back to the drawing board and start all over.

The gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, knowing my addiction to theology, posed a query to me. The difficulty expressed itself in a three-fold choice.

I still am a little confused about the whole thing, but somehow I maneuvered through the theological quagmire.

The Master Chef at the parsonage put it to me like this; which do you prefer? A pre-Thanksgiving turkey, a mid-Thanksgiving turkey or a post-Thanksgiving turkey? Her insistence was for me to select one.

To me there is a slice of truth in all three, which is why I staggered at the predicament.

What do I really know about things like this? As far as I was concerned, a turkey is a turkey is a turkey.

Moreover, a turkey by any other name is still good eating at Thanksgiving dinner.

My nutritional philosophy is rather simple don’t confuse me with options. Just set the blessed thing before me, give me a fork and let me go.

Unlike other years, this year a shortage of turkey threatened our little domicile and my wife was not sure there would be enough to go around. For this reason, she suggested that I, who bought the turkey in the first place, should choose.

This is the basic difference between the sexes. Women love to plan the meals ahead of time and in minute detail. Men just love to eat those meals without the necessity of any noodle-work.

The biblical adage is my motto: “And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart.” (Acts 2:46 KJV.)

My philosophical mindset notwithstanding, my companion insisted I choose between roast turkey and turkey salad sandwiches. What a choice.

There are other choices in life far more serious.

Joshua, in the Old Testament, understood this. He challenged the people of his day to “Choose you this day whom ye will serve.” He also included a personal declaration, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I’m with Joshua on this one.

About the Author

Rev. James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living with his wife, Martha in Ocala, FL.

Celebrate your Thanksgiving with EQ and INTENTIONALITY

Thanksgiving comes soon
Review your basic EQ
Intend to enjoy.

POSITIVE OUTLOOK

Holiday at Bill s
I miss my own great stuffing
I focus elsewhere.

OPTIMISM

Christmas will soon come
I have way too much to do
Optimistic, I.

SELF-SOOTHING

Thanksgiving at Mom’s
My sisters will fight again
I will breathe deeply.

FLEXIBILITY

Dinner at Kayla’s
What’s this, we’re having a quiche??
I am flexible.

COMPASSION

Feast at the bride’s house
Lumpy gravy, burned turkey
Compassionate time.

RESILIENCE

Thanksgiving, no Chet
Resilient I have become
For this I give thanks.

HIJACKING

First meal for my boss
Will my fear hijack me now?
Not with my EQ.

INTUITION

The host is yawning
My intuition tells me
Time to go on home.

LIMBIC BRAIN

My child is crying
I choose to use empathy
Time for limbic brain.

REPTILIAN BRAIN

Doug holds me closely
We kiss while the dinner burns
The reptilian brain.

CHOICES

Introvert heaven
Thanksgiving alone at home
Extraverts gather.

CONSTRUCTIVE DISCONTENT

Stressed, we have a fight
Conflict resolution skills
Will come in handy.

CREATIVITY

Oven is broken.
Arnold must be creative.
He will grill turkey.

EMOTION MANAGEMENT

Tablecloth is pink
What s wrong with this holiday?
I manage my response.

TRUST RADIUS

On Thanksgiving Day
I meet many new people
Friends for the future.

PERSONAL POWER

On this special day
Good, bad or indifferent
I choose to enjoy.

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach , http://www.susandunn.cc . The tools and resources you need for your personal and professional development. Coaching, EQ coach training ( http://www.eqcoach.net ), distance learning courses, eLibrary ( http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html ), and the best in coaching combining techniques from psychology, coaching, and common-sense practical things that work. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.

Thanksgiving is a time of family, food and fun. Here are some ideas of traditions you can start that will give you those “warm fuzzy feelings” for years to come!

Watch the parade on TV or make an effort to attend the parade. Don t forget a thermos of hot chocolate

Family Portrait Time–use this picture for Christmas cards

Decorate with: gourds, indian corn, corn stalks, pine cones, fall leaves, cornucopia, a large pine cone turkey with feathers

As family gathers, this is an excellent time for making a personal history video helping to connect the generations. Ask questions such as:

What was life like when you were our age?
What were your parents like?
What were your brothers, and sisters like?
What was your happiest memory as a child? your saddest?
How did you and your spouse meet?
Ask the interviewee to bring along momentos or pictures for your children to look at.

Here is a great webpage full of other interesting questions to ask.
http://articles.scrapbooking.com/family_history.htm

Break out the Christmas music

Watch a favorite holiday movie each Thanksgiving to bring on the Christmas season such as: It s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Santa Clause, Little Drummer Boy.

About the Author

About the Author Teresa Hansen is the creator of www.momsmakingit.com sharing creative ideas to save time,
save money, and enrich your life! Visit http://savemoney.momsmakingit.com for your free e-guide “Moms Making It! 111 Great Money Saving Ideas! She is a wife and mother of five children.

Not One Ounce. The 8-Week Campaign to Survive the Holidays

– by Will Clower, Ph.D., www.fatfallacy.com

November 12th

Eating preparations in the run up to Thanksgiving.

The turkey tsunami hits on the 3rd Thursday in November. It comes complete and replete with piles of potatoes, pies, sauces, stuffing, and all the rest. When you survey that mound of food, you realize that everything in there is healthy.

If you’re eating all healthy foods, what s the problem?

The problem is volume, pure and simple. Eating a trough full of anything will make you overweight and unhealthy; and the typical Thanksgiving meal is normally served with a forklift. Name one thing on this planet that you cannot overconsume, to make it become bad for you.

Short term problem

After Thanksgiving, most people have to be rolled away from the table to recover on the couch for a solid hour of college football. Obviously, if the stretch receptors in the wall of your stomach are screaming at you stop, Stop, STOP, you have added far too many calories at that meal. In addition to the terrible feeling of being completely stuffed, you have simply added to your expanding horizons.

Long term problem

You stomach is completely adaptable, and responds to what you put in it. If you put it too much food, you are simply training your stomach to receive more and more food at the next sitting. This long term problem comes back at you down the road by increasing your tendency to overeat in the future. Just as you can train yourself to eat smaller over time, you can train yourself to eat and overeat gigantic portions.

Now what do we do?

Begin preparing for T-day now. Put away your large plates and replace them with the medium sized ones. When you do this, you will put less on your plate than you normally do, and you can begin to train your body to expect less food in the long term. Make that amount last through the entire meal (about 20 - 30 minutes).

When T-day does arrive, you will eat on your smaller plate, consume less food, and be the only groan-free member of your family on the post-dinner couch!

Are you ready for the holidays? Who s holidays are you ready for? If you ve got global and multicultural clients and friends as I do, here s a list to help you get it organized.

1.Eid al-Fitr (Muslim) lunar, when new moon is sighted, so around November 25 depending upon location

Eid Al-Fitr, or the Celebration of Breaking the Fast, marks the end of Ramadan, the month of fasting. Money is given to the poor, and to children, and everyone gets a new set of clothing.

2. Saint Nicholas Day (Christian) — December 6

Popular for centuries esp. in Northern Europe, celebrating Saint Nicholas, a 4th century bishop of the city of Myra (in what is now Turkey), who was known for his kindness and generosity. Good children receive candies, cookies, apples and nuts, while naughty children receive switches or lumps of coal in their shoes.

3. Bodhi Day (Buddhists) December 8

aka Rohatsu, celebrates the day in 596 BC when the Buddha achieved enlightenment.

4. Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe (Mexican) — December 12

One of the most important dates on the Mexican calendar, dedicated to the Mother of all Mexicans.

5. St. Lucia Day (Swedish) — December 13

Each family awakens a young girl who dresses in a white robe with red ribbon around the waist, and wears a crown of candles on her head. She then brings breakfast to the family — sweet buns flavored with saffron. The boys (called star boys) wear long white shirts and pointed hats and help carry the sweets. What do you say? God Jul!

6. Hanukkah (Jewish) — begins December 19

Known also as Festival of Lights, this 8-day, 2,000-year-old holiday celebrates God’s glory, an ancient victory of the Jews over their enemies, and the freedom Jews enjoy today.

7. Winter Solstice (Various) - December 22

Long before Christmas, people celebrated the Winter Solstice on the eve of the shortest day of the year. They burned a Yule log in a great bonfire, danced, sang, hung mistletoe from doorways of their home, and decorated with evergreens. In Iran, the celebration is called Shabe-Yalda. The Chinese call it Dong Shi.

8. Kwanzaa (African American) — begins December 26

Habari Gani? That’s Swahili “What’s the News?”, the Kwanzaa greeting. Kwanzaa’s seven days of celebration focus on seven principles: unity (umoja), self-determination (kujichagulia), collective work and responsibility (ujima), cooperative economics (ujamaa), purpose (nia), creativity (kuumba), and faith (imani). Kwanzaa is Swahili for “first fruits of the harvest.”

9. Boxing Day (Australian, Canadian, English, Irish, Scottish) — December 26

Way back when, servants had to work on Christmas, but were given the 26th off to visit their families. Their Landlords gave each servant a box with gifts and bonuses, and churches opened their alms boxes for the poor. Nowadays most people have the day off, and visit, go shopping and celebrate.
10. Omisoka (Japanese) — December 31
The family gathers to get ready to celebrate the new year. They clean house (susu harai), put things in order and decorate. In the evening they have toshikoshi soba (buckwheat noodles) and then go to temple to make wishes known to buddhist or shint divinities. At midnight, in all buddhist temples, the bell (bonsh ) is rung 108 times to announce the new year.

Did you know that more than 47% of US households are headed by unmarried individuals? The American Association for Single People projects this figure will continue to rise in the coming decade. Therefore, if you are single you are not alone. And if you have single adults in your social circle, don t assume alone means lonely.

As Thanksgiving approaches and we start making holiday plans, here are some things to keep in mind.

Perception: That it s terrible to be alone for the holidays.
Reality: This is mostly a projection of married people who fear the unknown or could not tolerate being alone before they were married. The reality is that single people who observe what goes on at holiday get-togethers between couples, 50% of whom are destined to be divorced at some point, think there are worse things than being single.

Perception: That single people are desperate to be invited over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Reality: Single people have myriad options and no one to consult. I can go on a cruise, stay home in my bathrobe and declare it a non-holiday, do meaningful volunteer work at the homeless shelter, invite friends over, or get a dinner reservation at a hotel. Or I can accept any one of the numerous invitations I get. Contrary to what you might think, we single people are popular at the holidays. Most of us have accomplished social skills and are welcome additions at holiday gatherings

Perception: Single people don t know what to do for holidays.
Reality: We re used to planning our social lives actively, good at generating options, used to making unilateral decisions, and accomplished mixers. We re pros!

Perception: Anyone who s single is fair-game to perform certain social tasks during the holiday celebration.
Reality: We like to be cherished guests, just like everyone else. Can you come for Thanksgiving dinner. I need some help with Aunt Edna? is not an invitation. If your family doesn t get along and you re inviting the single person to throw a steer in with the bulls, that s not nice either. It s your problem; solve it yourself.

Perception: Single people are available to do certain physical tasks.
Reality: This isn t an invitation either: Can you come over early and help out in the kitchen. I ve got my hands full. What about her husband? Her sisters? As best-friend, yes; as the only working-guest, absolutely not.

Perception: That the only “happy” way to spend the holidays is if you are a
couple or part of a family.
Reality: If that were so, half the articles on the Internet this time of year wouldn’t be about how to cope with family at the annual holiday get-togethers.

Perception: That single people are miserable during the holidays.
Reality: Yes, it can be difficult if it s their first Thanksgiving after a divorce or after a spouse has died, but the majority of single people are no more miserable than anyone else, and perhaps less so. Since being single (with grown children), I ve had the same levels of pleasure, the same good and better holidays, but there s one thing for sure I m more rested, and that in itself goes a long way.

So if you re thinking about including a single person in your family gathering, make sure it s because you want them there, not to fulfill a function or because you think they d be miserable if it weren t for your invitation. A guest is a guest, whether they re single or married, and good manners prevail.

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional development. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email for info.

Thanksgiving is more than just sitting around the table and eating until your buttons fall off. It s an important holiday in which we say thanks to those we love and the country we adore.

For many, Thanksgiving is the only occasion their family gets together, eats together and watches football together. The turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and home made rolls are just a bonus on this thankful day. The time spent together as a family is already more than enough to warm the hearts and souls of many.

Thanksgiving is also a day to say thanks to those who have died for us long ago, be it a relative who died helping our ancestors cross the Atlantic or a soldier that was lost in the American Revolution.

We must say thanks to those who have given us a chance to be somebody and spend our time with our friends and family to show them our love and care as we once did.

About the Author

Gary is a webmaster for Love Literature

There we were, newly married, living thousands of miles from either of our homes, in Durham, NC where he was in medical school. My husband was from Texas, and I was from the North Shore of Chicago. We came from two different cultures ourselves, and now were together in a new one. It turned out to be culture shock on top of culture shock as we adjusted to each other, and to the cosmopolitan student body at Duke Medical School.

CULTURE IS LEARNED

Culture is something we learn. It isn t related to race or ethnicity, religion or anything else, but it pulls from all those groups, and, especially if we ve only lived in one place, moved only in one social group, and/or haven t been exposed to other cultures, we tend to think of our own culture as sacred. However, so does the other person!

As we move into an exciting new world of global interaction, there are going to be culture clashes. Let s continue looking at this through my Thanksgiving Tale.

THE PLAYERS

The first Thanksgiving came around and friends from New England invited us over along with 6 other couples. Guests included a man from the Dominican Republic married to a woman from Spain; a couple from Missouri; a New York man married to a woman from Brazil; two French Canadians from Quebec; and two Australians who were not medical students, but neighborhood friends. Religions represented were Protestant, Catholic and Jewish. And, I should add, it included men and women.

As friends do, we all talked among ourselves both before the event, during and after. A lot of it had to do with figuring out what was going on with all these nationalities represented. We split into factions about what was right and what was wrong, often changing sides with different issues.

TIME & COMMUNICATION

Why noon? my husband asked. When are we eating? My husband liked everything organized with no surprises. I was more flexible, but willing to dive in and explore, so I called the hostess. It s buffet, she said. I fished around for more information, like when were we expected to leave, and could I bring anything, hoping she d reveal the menu. Her answers were typically New England, short and terse.

You didn t find out anything? my husband asked, when I returned empty-handed.

She didn t volunteer anything, I said. I did the best I could.

Why didn t you just ask her the questions outright? he said.

Because that s rude, I said.

You re too polite, he replied.

Then next time you call, I said.

That s the woman s job, he replied.

We and the Missourians arrived at noon:11, which was our cultural dictate; a few minutes late to allow the host and hostess to make last minute adjustments, but no more than 15. The French Canadians and the Australians arrived about 30 minutes later. The couples that included a Latino arrived an hour or two after noon.

How rude, said the New Yorker. How are we supposed to be able to plan? What do you do when you invite the Gonzalvos over?

Relax, said the Australians. We ve all got kids. Things happen.

The French Canadians spoke to each other in French, obviously disliking tardiness, then smiled and told us, Isn t this a wonderful Thanksgiving, avoiding dissension.

The Latinos didn t appear to notice their wandering in was anything out of the ordinary They were busy hugging everyone and having a good time!

How we treat time varies greatly among cultures. We had had our cocktail hour by the time the Latinos arrived, and were ready to eat, but felt they should have time for a drink and some chatting also. It was an awkward moment. Somewhere also there was a football game involved, the timing of which got messed up.

Don t worry about the football game, said the Dominican. This is Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving IS the football game, my husband said to me, soto voce, angry over that and also because he hadn t had any food.

THE ATTIRE

Everyone from the medical school contingent was dressed up, and in festive apparel. The Australians were in blue jeans. The social group also has a pull.

FOOD

At last we were invited to the buffet table. To me, it s a big part of the event, and I was aghast. Boiled onions in a cream sauce, a turnip casserole, a ham, tart cranberries just crushed and sitting in a bowl where was the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet cranberry jelly? I don t even remember what the dessert was, but it s for sure it wasn t the Ambrosia my Texas-mother fixed, or the Mince Meat pie my British-ancestored father demanded.

A conversation ensued about who has what for Thanksgiving, some of us trying to convince the non-American participants of what Thanksgiving was really like, i.e., not like this, but also not agreeing among ourselves.

My husband and I went home feeling we hadn t had a Thanksgiving. I didn t get the meal, he didn t get the football game.

THE GRACE

Approaching the table, someone suggested a prayer of Thanksgiving. The host (the highest status male present) looked surprise so we all turned toward the most known-religious man in the room. However, the host evidently decided it was his job, and began a grace. I looked around. Some had their heads bowed in prayer; others were looking around the room, ill-at-ease.

AMBIANCE

When they first walked into the house, the US participants looked around as if something was missing. What was missing? There were no Thanksgiving decorations. Nor was there a host; the hosts child opened the door and we went hunting for the couple.

I miss my dad, the Missouri woman told me, an oblique reference to the greeting-situation. He always greeted guests so warmly, with a hug and a big smile at the front door.

The Dominican-Spain couple missed music and dancing. In my country we dance after dinner, he said. Here, you sit and fall asleep.

He and the gentleman from Australia also stayed in the room where the women were after dinner; the rest of the guys went off to the rec room.

AFTERGLOW

Conversations continued after the event. The upshot was we d had a good time, good company, and didn t wish to appear ungrateful, but we all were left feeling homesick. Next year we d do our own Thanksgivings, we agreed.

However, the next year my husband and I found ourselves in the car Thanksgiving Day, on the way over to the house of a Pakistani couple.

Why on earth would they invite us over for Thanksgiving? my husband asked. It s an American holiday.

I think it s nice, I said. They re going to live in the US and they want to join in and learn new ways. I just hope we have turkey.

I just better get to watch the game this year, he added, ominously.

Over the chicken makhani and ras malai, unfortunately served during the last quarter of the football game, the Japanese woman on my right said, So this is how you celebrate Thanksgiving here.

CULTURAL CHAOS

Interacting with other cultures is challenging, and requires a lot of emotional intelligence. It requires flexibility, creativity, empathy and interpersonal skills, plus a lot of understanding and a sense of humor. It forces us to focus on what s really important the people or the details? It also brings us to a greater awareness of what our own culture is.

Emotional intelligence relies on self-awareness and then other-awareness and finding the common ground, with optimism and goodwill. Global emotional intelligence relies on own-culture-awareness, then other-culture-awareness, and then finding the common ground with optimism and goodwill.

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach , http://www.susandunn.cc. Coaching for all your needs - transition, career, relationship, Emotional Intelligence, success, happiness, depression. Visit the eBook Library - http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary.html . Mailto:sdunn for FREE eZine.